Beginnings
by bonniegrey
Summary: Agent Emily Prentiss went on a trip to New York City. She met some old friends there and little did she know her life was about to change forever. What happens when she has to chose between family and work? What happens to the baby... /(prequel to "In Her Eyes")
1. Chapter 1: Old Friends

It was December 22.

The snow was falling.

Emily had landed in New York City an hour before she walked down Times Square on her way to dinner. Being in that big city by herself always gave her peace.

She was walking down and staring at all the lights and Christmas decorations when suddenly a hand touched her left arm. She turned around scared.

"Emily?" A handsome man with very dark hair, pale skin and blue eyes asked.

"John?" She asked realizing who it was.

"Oh my God! It's been so long" she said and they hugged.

"What are you doing in the city I thought you were back in Europe?" He asked her as they walked close to a shop to get away from the people. Luckily the place wasn't so crowded that night.

"Oh I am. I just took some time off and decided New York was a great place to come" she said. "What about you? Why are you here? I mean… you were never a fan of New York" she said and they laughed.

It was true. John liked small towns way better.

"I'm opening a practice here" he told her.

"Oh that's amazing" she said.

"Yeah. With Shepherd and Mark" he said.

"Really?" She asked surprised and he laughed.

"Yeah I know." He said. "They are great doctors and Derek's wife is in too so i won't be alone dealing with those two" he said making a face.

"That's great. I'm really happy for you" she smiled. "Really. You always wanted that"

"Yeah." He agreed.

"And how's Jeremy?" She asked him. Jeremy was his son.

"Oh he's great. Has been talking about med school and everything" John said.

"It's in the blood" Emily joked.

"Apparently it is" he laughed and checked his watch. Both his father and grandfather were doctors.

"Well, we are actually having dinner tonight to celebrate the deal on the office so you are more than welcome to join" John said.

"Oh no. It's alright" Emily said a bit embarrassed. She hadn't seen them in a long time.

"Are you alone here or ..?" He asked not really wanting to ask if she had a date.

"I'm alone" Emily admitted.

"Alright. So I won't take a no. You're coming with me" John said and threw his arm over her shoulder and they walked to the restaurant.

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As they entered the restaurant Emily smiled embarrassedly as she spotted the table where Derek, Mark and Addison were sitting. Derek smiled at her and the others soon followed spotting the woman walking in with John.

"Oh My God. Emily!" Addison said standing up and hugging the woman who just hugged back really embarrassed.

She greeted everyone and they sat.

"So what are you doing in the city?" Shepherd asked. "Weren't you working in Europe or something?"

"Yeah yeah. I took some time off" Emily answered. "Oh and I just heard about the practice. Congratulations"

"Thanks. I just hope I won't regret this" Shepherd joked looking at Mark.

"Oh come on man. I know what's work and what's not, alright" he said and everyone was smiling.

"It's good to see you Em" Derek said and Emily smiled shyly.

The dinner went on great. Addison invited Emily to stop by the practice the next day to see how things were going and of course Emily said yes. She had not seen any of them in about 8 months. So though a bit embarrassed she was happy and excited to see her old friends.

After the dinner John and Emily shared a cab. He got out first and asked if she wanted to stay over at his place like they used to but she insisted on going to the hotel. Both of them had been very good friends for years and it had never been more than that. They could share a room just fine without anything sexual happening, so it was just because she was already paying the hotel and she could use some time alone which had been the reason why she took the time off in the first place.

So he went up to his apartment and she went to the hotel.

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The next day Emily woke up excited to meet her friends again. They had agreed on meeting at the practice at 7 and then they would go out to another dinner.

Emily spent the day relaxing at the hotel. She watched movies and tv shows and got room service. It was just a day to relax. Around 6 she started to get ready and once done she was off. She took a cab to the practice. When she got there everyone was working on something. Addison gave her a tour and then they just hung out and worked on some decor for the place. Even Emily helped.

Around 9, they were all done so they sat in the small kitchen and popped a bottle of champagne to celebrate. They drank and talked a bit and then decided to go to a bar nearby. They walked there and it went on great and they obviously drank some more. They were having so much fun just talking and laughing their heads off.

It was almost midnight when they decided to head home. Everyone looked too drunk to drive so they went on taxis. Addie, Derek and Mark shared and John and Emily shared the other one since his house was close to her hotel.

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"So do you want to come up tonight?" John asked Emily as the taxi pulled over in front of his building.

"No. It's alright John." Emily said definitely sounding drunk.

"Come one. Let's just watch a movie. You can have the guest room" John said. "You said you wanted to see the place remember?" He told her to remind her what she had said at Addison's wedding when he told Emily he had moved.

"Alright you dumbass" Emily said.

"You're drunk" he said.

"merci pour une lapalissade" (thank you for stating the obvious) Emily said making a face at him.

"So drunk" he said and took her hand. They walked to the building.

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John opened the door and they walked in. Emily put her bag in the kitchen island and John went to the refrigerator for some water.

Out of nowhere Emily hugged him.

"I miss you" she said.

"I miss you too" he said hugging her tighter.

They both let go at the same time and as they were letting go John's eyes stared at Emily's. Before they could even think they were kissing. John pushed Emily into the kitchen island and she slightly laid her back there as they kept kissing.

"Couch" she said as her back hurt. They ran to the couch giggling like two teenagers. They made out and things were getting intense. Emily took her shirt off and John stared at her breasts.

"Hey" she said giggling and as he stared at her eyes and she ripped his shirt.

One thing led to the other and it wasn't long till all their clothes were on the ground. Emily let an "Au" scape and John looked worried but that was shortly followed by pleasure sounds. Both of them were having the greatest time. A little after John had come, he went again and made her too. She felt good as all her body shook. They kissed each other and hugged each other as if they were wondering why it took them so long to be together.

The truth was that it was all the alcohol. They never loved each other like lovers. It was always just friends.

They just laid on the couch together covered with a blanket that was on the couch and shortly after both fell asleep.

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it was 8:36 when Emily's eyes opened the next day. It took a while for her to realize what they had done because her head felt like it was about to explode and at the moment she realized what had happened she panic.

She couldn't have, she just couldn't. She kept telling herself.

She got up and started grabbing her things and putting them on.

"No. No. No. No" she kept telling herself.

As she put the last item of clothing on John woke up.

"Oh my god" he said in shock.

"What exactly happened here?" Emily asked mad at him.

"I think we .. Ummn" John said unable to make the words.

"We did. We definitely did" Emily said and John just stood up.

"Oh lord put your pants on" Emily said throwing his pants at him and he laughed.

"John. This isn't funny." She said serious.

"I'm sorry" he said. "I'm really sorry Em. I don't know what happened" John said feeling bad.

"Yeah. I should have never come up here" she said sounding upset. She knew things probably wouldn't be like it was before between them after having sex.

"Em don't" he said as she started walking towards the door.

"I have to go back." She said.

"Stay. This is fine. We're fine" he said.

"I don't think this is fine John. I'm sorry I don't… " she said mad.

"I'm sor-" he started.

"I have to go" she cut him off, grabbed her purse and walked out of the apartment.

Instead of going after her he just stood there thinking about what had just happened.

Emily cried the entire walk to her hotel. She couldn't believe she had let that happen. He was her best friend. She couldn't have let something like this ruin what they had. She knew once they had sex it was over.

She got to her hotel room and packed her things. She checked out and took a cab to the airport.

She got tickets to the next flight to London, which would leave in 40 minutes.

She hurried to check in and do all the things so she wouldn't miss the flight. Luckily she made it. The entire ride she was heartbroken for letting that happen and for running away but she just couldn't face him. Neither could she face Derek, Addison and Mark after that.

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The day after it happened she got a couple of calls from Shepherd but she didn't answer. The next day Addison called and she answered.

"Hello?" Addison said as she noticed Emily had answered the phone.

"Hi" Emily said not sounding excited at all.

"Are you okay? John said you went to London last minute. What about Christmas?" Addison asked. At the bar they had invited Emily to spend Christmas with them.

"I'm sorry but something came up a work and I won't be able to go. You know what is like" Emily said.

"Sure. Interpol is hard" Addison said.

"Yeah" Emily said. She couldn't believe John hadn't told them.

"Well, try to come for a visit soon." Addison said. "You're always welcome here"

"Thank you… " Emily said. "I gotta go. Work you know" Emily said not wanting Addison to sense something was off with her.

"Alright. Bye. Take care" Addison said.

"You too" Emily said. "Bye"

"Bye"

And they hung up. Emily couldn't believe John had not mentioned anything. She thought about calling him but she couldn't. So she just went on with her life and tried forgetting it even happened.

Emily spent Christmas alone at her apartment in London and spent New Year's Eve with two friends at a bar downtown.

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Almost 3 weeks after she left New York, she was at the Interpol office in Paris, when she felt really sick as she walked out of the building. She knew she would throw up so she walked to a trash can and just like that she emptied her stomach. That sickness had been going for a couple days till she finally decided to get it checked out.

The doctor ordered a blood test and she waited for the results in his office. She was nervous it was something serious because she was never ever sick.

"Well, I have good news Miss Prentiss" the doctor said and she felt relieved.

"You'll need to be transferred to an OBGYN because your test came back positive. You are pregnant." He said with a smile.

"What?" Emily asked as her eyes widened with surprise and fear. "No sir. This must be a mistake. I can't be pregnant. I'm on the pill and I've never not used a condom. This must be a mistake there" she said way faster and angrier than she meant.

"The OBGYN is coming for an ultrasound to confirm for you. But this is almost 100% certain" the doctor said.

Emily didn't say anything this time. She could feel her heart beating so fast. Her head started to pound and she started feeling sick again.

"There's a bathroom just outside" the doctor said noticing she was feeling sick. She ran out of the office and in to the bathroom.

Once she was done the OBGYN was waiting for her at the door of the office.

"You must be Emily Prentiss?" Doctor Sally Richards asked and Emily nodded.

"Please come in" the doctor said and Emily did as told. She laid on the exam bed and the doctor started the ultrasound. Emily was really nervous. She kept telling herself that there was no way she was pregnant and it suddenly hit her. She couldn't remember if John was using a condom or not. She felt as her eyes started filling with water as it hit her. She fought it hard and managed not to let a single tear scape.

"Here it is" Dr. Sally Richards said. "This tiny thing right here" she said pointing to it on the screen. "This is your baby"

Emily's heart was going insane. She couldn't believe that was happening.

"How far? How far long am I?" Emily asked still in shock.

"Seems like around 3 to 4 weeks" Dr Sally said. "Due date should be around ... Umm… October 1st"

"Are you sure of that?" Emily asked still in disbelief.

"100%" the doctor said.

"Okay" was the only thing Emily could say.

"Well, you'll need prenatal care and if you don't want to do it here I can send your file to any hospital or practice of your choosing"

"Okay" Emily said. The doctor could see she was in shock.

"Look. Being pregnant is scary but believe me it's a wonderful thing" the doctor said and Emily gave her a little fake smile. How could she tell her that? Emily didn't want kids. She couldn't have kids. Not now. Not with her job.

Emily finished everything she had to do at the hospital and drove back to her hotel. As soon as she entered the room the water gates opened and she couldn't stop crying. She couldn't control herself anymore. She just sat on the floor and cried.

How was she supposed to tell John? How was she supposed to take care of a child? How?


	2. Chapter 2: We Need To Talk

The next day Emily was woken up by her phone.

"hello?" Emily answered sleepy.

"It's me. He's in town. Don't go out. I'm coming over" Tsia told her.

"Okay" Emily said and hung up. Tsia was talking about a case they started working on about 5 months earlier. A drug trafficking case in which Emily had gone undercover and impressively managed to get the "boss's" trust. The thing was that that man was there in Paris but for him Emily was in Australia for her "translator" work.

Sia stayed the entire night at the hotel with Emily and after about 30 minutes of being there she knew something was wrong. She insisted and Emily finally admitted.

"I'm pregnant" she said refusing to look at her friend.

"What? Pregnant? But.. How? When? Who?" Tsia asked in complete shock.

"I didn't tell you but when I was in New York I met a couple of old friends and one night we got drunk and things happened and now…" she said.

"what are you gonna do?" Tsia asked. "Are you keeping it?" She said looking at Emily's stomach.

"I don't know" Emily said.

"Em. you can't work like this" Tsia said.

"What? It doesn't even show. I'm just three weeks." Emily said.

"If anyone finds out, you and this child are dead. You know damn well" Tsia said and Emily just nodded.

"You have to tell Calen" Tsia said. Calen was their boss. "I'm not letting you work if he doesn't know."

"Fine" Emily said between her teeth. She knew she had to. She just didn't want to.

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Two day after talking to Tsia, Emily walked in the hotel restaurant, which was impressively not crowed at all, for a meeting with her boss.

The moment she told him he got really mad.

"Are you out of your mind agent? How did you let this happen?" He said and she just stared not knowing what to say. "You have too many connections you can't just drop off now. They'll know. All of them. You'll blow everything up…. Fuck" he said angry and she just sat there.

"You have to end it" he said and Emily's eyes widened.

"What?" She said. "Excuse me sir but-"

"You don't know what they'll do to you and this child if you keep it. And believe me it will not be pretty agent" he cut her off. "The moment you walked into the cases you did you knew damn well" he said.

"It was an accident sir but I can't just.." She said unable to end it. She wouldn't have an abortion again. She couldn't forgive herself for it. When she was a teenager she could offer nothing to the child but now it was different. The baby had a father and Emily knew he was a good one to his son, she knew what he was capable off and she had to give the child a chance.

"You know how this is for these people Emily. They won't care." Calen said. "And you can't drop out now" he said serious. "I'm sorry" he said as if having an abortion was his orders and his choice.

"Excuse me sir I need some time" Emily said standing up.

"If you wait too long it will-" he said and Emily interrupted.

"I need time" she said and left.

She walked to her hotel room and she didn't even realize she was crying until she got inside. She sat on the bed and took her face on her hands as a sob came out. She cried and cried. She couldn't have an abortion. She just couldn't.

She grabbed her phone and called John.

"Hello?" He said and she just sat there not saying a word. "Emily?" He said and nothing.

Suddenly she hung up.

She laid on the bed and just cried.

How was she supposed to tell him? How was she supposed to say what could happen to his baby if she decided to keep it?

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2 weeks had passed since Emily found out about the baby. Her boss had said she needed some time away from the field since it was too risk if anyone found out.

She spent her days inside the hotel room. She hadn't even called John or answered to any of Addison's calls, when she decided she had to tell him.

She was almost 6 weeks pregnant and she knew that no matter what John said she would not have an abortion.

She got on a plane to New York City and just hoped things would go smooth.

.

As soon as she got to the city she went to the Palace Hotel to leave her things there and then she headed to the Practice.

The taxi ride over there was nerve racking. She picture his reaction a million times in a million different ways but nothing was preparing her for what was about to happen.

Emily walked in the practice and froze as she saw Addison approaching.

"Hi. You're back" Addison said hugging her and smiling.

"Umm is John here?" Emily asked trying to sound normal and not like she was about to drop a bomb.

"Yeah. He's in his office. You can go in. He's not seeing anyone" Addison said.

"Okay" Emily said already starting to move.

"Em, are you okay?" Addison asked definitely able to tell something was wrong.

"Yeah. I just really need to talk to him" Emily said serious and walked away leaving Addison standing there asking herself what the heck was wrong with the woman.

.

Emily knocked on John's office door and she could feel her heart pounding.

"Come in" John shouted and she took a deep breath and walked in.

"Emily?" He said surprised standing up.

"We need to talk" Emily told him while she walked in further and stopped before the chairs and his desk.

"Emily about what happened I'm-" John said.

"John. You might need to sit down" she said not looking in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked her and she just stood there. "Emily what's wrong?" He demanded.

"I'm pregnant" Emily said.

"What?" He asked confused. "Didn't we use a ?" He said.

"I don't remember we using anything" Emily said.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"100%" Emily said copying the doctor who told her. She blinked trying to prevent tears from falling.

"And what are we going to do?" John asked.

"I don't know" she let out almost as a whisper and she felt her entire body shaking as the ocean of tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Oh Em. It's going to be okay" John told her as he walked to her and hugged her. "It's going to be alright" he said and led her to the couch. They sat beside each other and Emily just cried and he just kept hugging her.

After she calmed down a bit she said: "I told my boss. He said... Umm he said I should have an abortion but I can't do that. I can't." She cried.

"You won't." He said serious and she looked straight at his eyes.

"I'll take care .. Of the baby. You won't ever have to worry" he said as tears filled his own eyes.

"John you know my job. It's imp-" she said.

"No it's not. Don't say that. It's our child. Ours. We'll make it possible" John said smiling.

"How?" Emily whispered.

"You can use your contacts to have it somewhere far and hidden and I'll take care of the baby until you're out, until it's fine" he said.

"I don't think it will ever be. Calen is right. I have contacts inside. I was IN there. If any of those people finds out" she said unable to finish as she cried again.

"No one will." John said. "Look we can tell people it's mine with a girlfriend who left or passed away. I don't know. But we'll find a way for you to see it often. We'll make it work. We have to" John said. "We have to. It's our baby" he repeated and Emily hugged him.

She couldn't believe it. She thought he would be angry at her. She had been so scared to tell him and she wasn't expecting anything like that at all.

"We can make it work" Emily said.

"We can" John smiled at her, she smiled back and they hugged for a long time till Emily was back to her regular self without all the tears on her face.

"So 6 weeks?" He asked her after doing some math.

"Yeah" Emily smiled as he placed his hand on her belly.

"I promise you that this kid will have a beautiful and good life. I swear that I'll do everything in my power" he said still touching her belly.

She put her hands above his and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she said and they just sat there.

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After talking a bit more they decided what they would do.

Emily was going to say to the people on the cases she had been working that she was going to have to move to New Zealand for a while. But she would actually go to New York. John would get her an apartment on his building and since the city was so busy she wouldn't have much of a problem to go unnoticed there. She would stay there till the baby was born and she lost her pregnant belly and then she would go back to Europe and resume her work. Emily would go back to Europe and John would stay in NYC with the child. Whenever it was possible Emily would meet them in Emily's apartment in John's building, or some hotel so she would be able to see the baby.

"That's a crazy idea you know?" Emily said.

"But I think it'll work" he said.

"I think too" she agreed.

"And what do we do about them?" John asked signing with his head the door, meaning their friends.

"We gotta tell them" Emily said.

"We do" John said.

"Let's do it now before I chicken out" Emily joked and they went.

They gathered everyone in the practice's kitchen and told them. Everyone was surprised they had sex and when they told Emily was pregnant no one really believed.

"We are not joking" Emily said serious.

"You are not?" Addison asked surprised and Emily nodded.

"Oh Em" Addison said and hugged Emily.

"It's gonna be alright we have it figure out" John said and they explained to everyone their plan. Everyone agreed it was a good one and said they would take care of this baby too as their own. Emily knew them well enough to know this child would be well taken care of and very loved and that made her not feel that bad for knowing she wouldn't be always there.

They talked some more and after everything was explained Addison asked if Emily wanted an ultrasound.

"Sure" Emily said smiling at John.

"Let's go than" Addison said and everybody followed.

Derek and John got teary eyed when the little baby appeared on the screen. Addison said everything was perfect and for Emily not to worry because she would take very good care of her.

Emily was happy with the way everyone took. She knew going back to work would be very hard once the baby was there but she knew she was strong enough to do it and she knew it was the best to do. She had to protect that child with all she had.


	3. Chapter 3: The Baby Is Here

For the last few months Emily had done everything they had agreed on.

When she told her boss he was not happy at all but it was her choice and he would do everything to secure her identity so he managed to get her a fake passport. He put her name on the list of passengers of a flight to New Zealand and then she left with her fake passport to America.

She was using the name Katherine Bishop.

She went to New York and bought an apartment on John's building under that name and moved in.

Most days John and his son Jeremy would have dinner with her and John would always make sure she had everything she needed. Addison and Derek also stopped by a lot and Addison was now her OBGYN.

The baby was perfectly fine.

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When Emily was 19 weeks pregnant they tried to find out the sex of the baby. John and Jeremy went with her to the practice and Shepherd also wanted to be in the room.

After Addison checked everything she went to try to see the sex.

"So let's hope we can see it" Addison said and started.

"Well, the legs are crossed" Addison said with a sad tone. "We can try again on the next appointment Em"

"Okay"

"Oh bummer. I really wanted to know today" Jeremy said.

"Oh yeah. Just so you win the bet with the boys?" Addison said.

"What bet?" Emily asked serious.

"Mark and I think it's a boy. Derek swears on his life it's a girl." Jeremy said.

"It's a little Emily. You'll see" Derek said.

"It's a 1000 dollar bet. That's the only thing I can see" Addison said.

"What?" Emily asked surprised and laughing. "Are you in on this?" She asked John.

"No" John said laughing.

"Well, so everything is perfectly fine with you and the baby. And let's hope next appointment she or he won't be so shy" Addison said smiling at Emily.

Bu the next appointment came along and nothing.

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When she was 6 and a half months pregnant John started working on the baby's nursery.

"What color should I paint this?" He asked Emily staring at the big empty room that used to be his office.

"We should try again" Emily said.

"Try what?" He asked confused.

"To see the sex." Emily said.

"You're dying to know aren't you?" John asked her.

"Yeah. " she laughed.

"Let's call Addie and schedule an ultra for tomorrow huh?" John said and hugged her.

"Okay" she said hugging him back.

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The next day they went and once again nothing.

"It seems like this one likes surprises already" Addison joked.

"There's not another way to know is there?" Emily asked.

"No" Addison said smiling.

"Look. The baby is doing perfectly fine and believe me honey no matter what it is I know you'll love it anyways" Addison said.

"Em, I've never asked but do you hope it's a boy or a girl?" John said.

"I don't care. I just wanted to know" Emily said trying not to sound upset for being unable to know.

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They decided to paint the nursery walls white and decorate with various colors. John wanted the finished room to be a surprise for Emily. So he worked very hard, with Derek, to set up everything and then he reviled it to her.

"Oh my god. It's beautiful" Emily said as her eyes filled with tears as she entered the room. The pregnant hormones took over.

The walls were white as snow, the windows were covered by beautiful curtains that were green and had a bunch of lines in different pastel colors, just like a rainbow. The crib was white and the bedding was adorable, full of little bears. Every detail of the room was beautiful but what caught her eyes was the white rocking chair, with an "E" on the top, in the corner. She stared at it for a while.

"Well, that's yours" John said putting his hand on her back. Emily's eyes were full of tears that she fought to keep inside but failed. The thought of having just a little time in there with her child was killing her and at the same time giving her joy. She was happy to have a baby and to get to spend time with her but she knew it would be a short time and she hated that.

John hugged her knowing exactly what she was thinking.

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It was September 4th.

Almost 10pm.

A beautiful fall night in New York City.

Emily was sitting at John's couch and they were watching a movie when she felt it.

She felt a strong pain. Like a horrible cramp. She breathed slowly as John got closer to her.

"What happened?" He asked. "What's wrong?" He asked nervous as she placed her hand on her belly. Suddenly a bit of "water" came down her legs. John gasped.

"Your water broke." John said.

"It's a month away" Emily said worried.

"We are going to meet her" John said smiling and placing his hand on her belly. "Or him" he added and they laughed.

John got Emily's hospital bag, which she had organized just two days before, and they left. They called Addison on their way to the hospital and she told them to meet her there.

Once Emily and John got there everyone was waiting for them. Addison, Derek, Mark, Jeremy and his friend Luke.

They were taken to the room and it began.

Hours had passed and Emily was progressing very fast.

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September 5th.

11:26am.

Emily was dilated to a 10 and Addison said it was time to push.

"Can Derek come in? I want him to be the godfather" Emily said "and you the godmother" she smiled thru the pain.

"Of course" Emily said and signed a nurse to go get him.

"Is that alright John?" Emily asked him and he laughed.

"Of course it is. It's perfect" John said smiling. "And now let's meet this baby" he said.

Suddenly Derek walked in.

"Hi. I'm here" Derek said.

"Alright. So come on Emily you've got this" Addison said.

"3,2,1 push" Addison said and Emily pushed as much as she could as tears started rolling down her face. It was hurting a lot and she was also really scared.

"You got it. Come on… Push" Addison said and Emily did it.

"Push" John said.

"Ah ah! No I can't" Emily said as another contraction started. "I can't do this John. Ah Au" she cried as the pain and the thought of having to leave the child started to take over.

"Emily. His head is right here. He's almost here. Come on Em you got it. It's almost over" he said trying to calm her down.

"Big push Emily" Addison said and Emily pushed as strong as she could and the baby was out.

"You have a daughter" Addison said excited but that soon changed. "Come on cry" she said trying not to look so serious.

"Why isn't she crying? What's wrong?" Emily asked as her heart started racing as she tried to look at the baby on the table close to the bed where she was being cleaned and taken care of.

"why isn't she crying?" Emily said as tears rolled down her face.

Suddenly a cry filled the room.

"There you go. Good girl" Addison said.

Emily, John, Derek and even Addison cried as the little pink baby started screaming out.

Addison took her to Emily and put her on Emily's chest. She put a sheet over the little girl just leaving her head out and told Emily to tight it with her arm. And there they laid while Addison finished everything she had to do with Emily. The little girl soon calmed down on her mother's arms.

Emily couldn't take her eyes of the little baby.

"Look at all that hair" Addison smiled.

"She's so beautiful" John said.

"Bella" Emily whispered.

"What?" John asked.

"Can we name her Bella? Isabella Marshall." Emily said not taking her eyes of the girl.

"Of course we can" John said smiling and she smiled. "Hi little Isabella" he said and placed a kiss on the girl's head.

"Guys. We need to take her just for a little while to get checked" Addison said and Emily's heart sank. She didn't want to let go. But she knew she would have to do something way harder than that very soon so she had to be strong since the beginning, so she nodded yes.

"I'll bring her back soon" Addison said taking the girl away.

"She'll be okay, right?" Emily asked John. She was so scared.

"She's with her godmother." John joked smiling and Emily smiled back.

"Her godmother?" Derek asked surprised.

"And you Dr Shepherd needs to make sure no boys will break her heart. You hear me?" John said and everyone laughed. "Would you like to be her Godfather? We both really want that" John said smiling at Emily.

"Of course I do" Derek smiled big and hugged John.

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At the hospital Emily wanted the baby around her at all times. Addison knew it would be very hard for her to leave and be away once she had to do so, so she let her hold the baby as long as she wanted to.

They spent 3 days at the hospital after little Isabella was born. She was a lovely baby. Didn't cry much and whenever she did all they had to do to calm her down was let Emily hold her or John move around with her in his arms. She was having milk fine, and all her tests were clean. They had a beautiful and healthy baby.

No one but Mark and Jeremy had left the hospital for 3 days. The day they had to leave, John got a little green onesie out of the hospital bag. Derek got his work suitcase and got a bag out.

"Oh no that won't work. Here use this." Derek said handing the box to Emily. She opened and smiled big when she saw.

"This is adorable Derek" John said looking at the pink and purple striped onesie Derek had bought.

"Thank you" Emily said.

"When did you buy this?" Addison asked.

"On my way to the hospital. Right after you called to tell they were coming I stopped at the mall" Derek answered and they laughed.

"I told you it was a girl, didn't I?" He smiled. "I just wanted her to have something nice to wear instead of those boring neutral things you bought her" he told John.

"Thank you very much" Emily said smiling.

"You're welcome." He smiled.

Emily changed Isabella into the pink and purple onesie and put a little purple hat that came with it and then they gathered to take a picture. First all 5, then just Emily, John and Bella.

And then they headed home.

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The first night in the house with baby Bella was wonderful. Addison and Derek stayed over at John's place just in case they needed anything. Everyone already loved that little girl so much.

"I bought this for her a while ago" Emily said putting a white blanket on her chest and laying Bella's face in it.

"it's so cute" Addison said smiling at the scene. He had never pictured Emily as a mom but her friend was already an amazing one.

.

The next day Addison and Derek went home after lunch and for the first time Emily and John were alone with their daughter.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" John who was sitting at the couch with Isabella in his arms said to Emily who walked to the couch and sat next to him smiling.

"She looks just like her mama" he added and Emily blushed. After a moment of silence Emily decided to talk.

"Thank you for doing this" she told him. "Thank you so much for giving me her and for taking care of her for me" Emily said as her eyes filled with tears.

"No Em. Thank you. Thank you for giving me my little girl." He said and she just cried. "You'll see her. I swear I'll do anything for her to know how amazing you are" he said.

"I just... I just think.. how she's gonna know I'm her mother and.." She said ,looking at Bella who was fast asleep, unable to finish.

"I'll tell her that. Don't you ever be scared of this Emily. She will know you. She will love you. You are her mommy and you'll always be no matter where you are" John said. "Do you hear me?" He said serious and Emily looked at him and nodded yes. She laid her head on his shoulder and wiped her face.

"Let's watch a movie huh?" He said, for him movies always helped with everything. He turned the tv on and they chose a channel where a movie was playing. Not long into the film Emily was out. John couldn't help but smile.


	4. Chapter 4: The Right Decision

Two months passed like a flash.

Emily was almost back to normal. She was so scared of going back to work and leave Isabella in America. She knew John and everyone else would take good care of her baby but they were not her. They were not the mother.

One morning in November, two days after Isabella turned 2 months old, Emily and John took her to a checkup with the pediatrician at Addison's practice that was also good friends with John. Addison and Derek were always in the house to see the little girl and everyone knew she was perfectly fine, but she had to get her 2 month-old shots.

"She'll probably cry for a little while and then she'll stop. It's not that bad. You'll see" John said as they entered the practice. Addison appeared and asked if she could join them and of course Emily said yes. She was really nervous about putting the little girl through pain even if it was for her own good.

They went to the doctor's office and the doctor checked Bella up. The girl just smiled at them the entire them. When he was done he left the office and Emily picked Isabella up.

"Alright. So she needs three shots." The doctor said reentering the room.

"Okay" Emily said kissing the girl's head.

"John. Do you mind?" She said handing Bella to him. She was embarrassed about it but she really didn't want to be the one holding the baby down.

"Come here my little pumpkin" John said smiling at the little baby who just smiled back at him. He laid her down at the exam table and undid her onesie. Her little legs moved around as John held her arms away from it. The doctor got Band-Aids placed on the side of the table and put the three syringes right beside it.

"Alright. Are you ready?" He said to John who nodded and laughed a little. He hated holding Jeremy down for shots and he just hoped it wasn't going to be as bad with Bella.

The doctor cleaned her leg and began. She didn't cry when the needle went in but once the medicine starting going in, she cried. It wasn't a loud cry but it was enough to make everyone's heart shrink. They just wanted to get her out of there. He gave her the next one and the crying got even louder.

"Wait a little bit" Emily told the doctor. She just felt so bad.

"It's just one more Em. She's fine" John said and Emily took a deep breath.

"She'll stop crying in a minute" Addison said taking Emily's hand. Addison couldn't believe how the new mommy was being. Emily had always been so strong and tough and never really seemed scared. But right there she was.

The doctor gave Isabella the last shot and put the Band-Aids on her and the girl just kept crying loudly.

"There you go. All done" he said with a baby voice while placed the last Band-Aid on her leg. John closed her onesie as fast as he could and picked her up. He tried rocking her but she just wouldn't stop. Emily picked her up and just whispered "shuuuu shuuu" a lot of times on Isabella's ear till she finally calmed down.

Emily took a deep breath and walked out of the room. It was finally over.

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Two months and 16 days had passed since Isabella was born. Everything was going great. She was very attached to Emily but loved when John moved around holding her.

It was Saturday, November 21. The day had been great. Emily stayed in the apartment with Isabella while John went to work and there was nothing she loved more than just watch her baby discover things. It was almost 6pm when her phone rang. She answered and it was Calen. He told her they were working hard on a case in France that she had worked on and that they needed her back immediately.

"Why? What happened?" She asked trying not to sound too scared while she stared at the sleeping baby in her arms.

"They went to the place you told them you were working on." Calen said.

"And.?" She asked.

"The owner did as told and said you had left to London the week before. Apparently he is looking for you Emily. You told him how long it would be and you're 16 days over that." Calen said.

"I know" Emily said as tears filled her eyes as she just kept staring at the baby.

"You'll need to come this week." Calen said and Emily remained silent. "Emily. I know it's going to be hard but the moment you chose to have this child you chose to deal with all of this." He said.

"I'll be there on Monday" Emily said and hung up. She just couldn't stand talking to him anymore. She took Isabella's face to her face and kissed the baby's forehead for a long time.

She was so into that moment that she didn't even see John standing in from of her.

"Emily?" He said. She looked up surprised. "What happened?" He asked hurrying to take a seat beside her. "Is she okay?" He asked.

"Calen called" Emily told him, wiping her face and taking a deep breath. "I need to be there on Monday." She said and he just went and hugged her.

"look at her" John said as he let go of Emily. Emily stared at the little baby.

"Whenever it's too much just remember why you're doing it" John said and she looked at him. "You're doing it for her now. To keep the bad guys away." He said. "And I'll make sure she knows that" he added.

Emily nodded.

"And whenever you have time off, really any time even two days, you'll come and you'll see her and be with her" he said. "I was thinking and you can come here or we can meet in a hotel if you're another city. We'll make it work. We will" John said.

Emily nodded again "yeah" she whispered and just stared at Bella. Just the thought of having to leave her daughter in 2 days were making her shake.

She knew that that day would come.

She thought she was ready for that but she wasn't.

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The next two day went by really fast. Emily didn't leave Isabella alone not even for a minute. She even slept in the rocking chair at the little girl's bedroom.

When Monday morning came John woke her up at 7:30 with pancakes for breakfast. She tried not to look so nervous about it all.

After eating she pumped some breast milk to leave for the little girl. She hated doing that but she had been doing it for a while in case Isabella had any problems with formula.

After she was done she gave Isabella a bath and then breast fed. Isabella fell asleep and Emily carried her to the living room where John was working on some papers.

"Are you alright?" He asked Emily as soon as she appeared at the room.

"Yeah." She said not convincing at all.

"Come here" he told her and she walked and sat next to him.

"It's going to be okay." He said and she nodded. He could see she was holding it all in. He could tell just by looking in her eyes how hard that was being.

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Around 9am John knew she had to leave. Emily's plane left at 10:40am. John grabbed her luggage and left at the door and then went to get her from Isabella's nursery.

When he walked in she was staring at the sleeping baby on the crib.

"Emily. We gotta go" John said.

"You guys should stay here" she said.

"What? No" he said walking in.

"I don't know if it's safe there. Not with me" Emily said. "I already called a cab" she said taking the little girl's hand. Isabella wrapped her fingers tightly around Emily's index finger and the woman smiled.

"Just take care of our girl, okay?" Emily said not taking her eyes off Bella.

"Hey look at me" John said. She looked at him and both had tears in their eyes but neither was crying.

"I promise I will" John said and Emily smiled and nodded. She picked the sleeping girl up and kissed her, then she placed her back down on the crib. She kissed Isabella's forehead and whispered "I love you Bells. Your daddy is gonna be right here, okay? I love you. I love you so much".

Suddenly they heard the buzzer.

"He's here" Emily told John.

"Hey. You know where we'll be. You can call whenever it's possible. We won't go anywhere." He said trying to smile thru the pain and hugged Emily.

"Please take care of her. Okay?" Emily said fighting her tears.

"Always" he promised. "And you take care too." He added.

"I will" she said. "I have to go" she said taking another look on the sleeping baby and walking out.

John followed her and said goodbye again at the door.

She told herself a million times inside the elevator to be tough. She got in the cab and headed to the airport.

It all only hit her once the plane took off.

For her luck she sat on the back of the plane and there wasn't anyone next to her. She opened her bag and got the purple hat Isabella had worn going home from the hospital. She let herself cry and she couldn't hold anything anymore. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried like that.

After a while she was able to control the sobbing but It took her a long time to stop crying.

It was the worst flight ever and the worst day of her life.


End file.
